I sit in the shade under the roof next to Ellen‘s little shop and wait for Millicent to start the cooking. The children are in school. During break, one of the girls approaches me and says Millicent is gone. - ,So when is she coming back?‘ - ,She is not coming back.‘ I go and ask James what happened. ,Oh, I should have told you. Millicent is gone.‘ Apparently, she left in the morning. Nobody really knows why and whether or when she will come back. ,She said she would visit us. Then we will know whether she comes back.‘ - ,Who is cooking now?‘ - ,The older girls maybe. And Ellen is here.‘ I see myself ending up cooking Banku on my own but luckily Ellen helps. Lunch is much less organised without Millicent, but we get along. It feels strange. Only some of the younger girls say they are sad because Millicent left. Everyone else replies ,I am fine.‘ as usual. I ask one of the older boys why Millicent left. He doesn‘t know, he says, but I think he suppresses a grin. I hear Ellen arguing with some of the older girls. Millicent complained the older kids would insult her, Ellen tells us. She asked the girls but they are not telling the truth. I always felt Millicent had a good relationship to the children but now there seemed to be something else beneath this surface. Especially the apparent lack of worry irritates me.
I convince Megan, another volunteer, to stay at the orphanage with me for the night. James and Ellen will be there as well, but we think it might be a good thing to do. We come back after dinner, time to do homework. It is noisy in the dining room, there are not enough pens. I read a story to some girls and help with homework. The three youngest fall asleep, head on the table. We bring them to bed. The room empties, it gets quieter. More and more rest their heads on their arms and fall asleep. I help the boys get ready for bed. The eleven-year old boys, Nelson and Anthony, wake up the little ones and send them to the bathroom. They know what to do. Anthony puts his mattress on the floor. He says he prefers to sleep there. Nelson lies down beside him, they pray together, then I am allowed to switch off the light. Megan and I try to sleep in the library. It is cool in the room, but we can hardly sleep. remember looking at my watch, waiting to fall asleep. In the morning, we hear the cock, footsteps, creaking doors. Someone leaves the house, gets water from the tank outside, comes back. Exactly at 5 am one of the older boys starts clapping to wake up everyone. One by one, they file outside where it is still dark. They form a circle, holding hands, old next to young, girls next to boys. One girl in the middle starts to sing, everyone joins. Then they pray, a rising and fading murmur. Megan and I stand a little bit aside. I am sure, they would open the circle for us, but I don‘t want to intrude. This is their moment, one moment for them alone under the stars. I have goose bumps. Eventually, the circle breaks up and everybody goes back inside. James gives out toothpaste, I help carry water for the children to bath. Then the courtyard is swept. Other students arrive early and help. Just before 8 am, one of the older girls serves the porridge, then it is time for school.
Megan and I are tired but we feel good. Waiting for a taxi to take us back to Cape Coast, a car pulls up beside us. Megan is a little bit suspicious but I am too tired. We get in the car and the two men give us a lift.
